16 straight future model slash pornstar
I got one of those sleeping masks you put over your eyes to keep the light out of your eyes and i was like “haha I wonder what this looks like on” so i took it to the mirror and put it on and then I realized the flaw in my plan
instead of watching the 50 Shades trailer, why not just make awkward eye contact with a total stranger at the grocery store for a solid 2 minutes and 34 seconds? you get the same skin-crawling, uncomfortable feeling but without the shitty writing, terrible acting and massive dose of rape culture
You want my phone number? It’s useless. The best way to contact me is to fill a human skull with acorns and vigorously shake it into the night. I will hear you eventually.
occupation: inappropriate friend who makes sexual jokes despite being a fucking virgin
I still think “friendzone” should be a big calzone you share with your friends.
This is a classic `nude calendar´ when you extract everything which transparent to X-Rays, i.e. all the flesh, and therefore any remaining sensuality.
Via Tha Mary Sue: “This Exists: X-Ray Pin-up Calendar”
best thing i’ve seen all day
"i dont know about you, but im feeling 22 officer so i dont think these underage drinking charges should really apply to me"
a dude at the gym just reached in his bag, pulled out a bottle of Hershey’s chocolate syrup, smiled & shook his head like that’s just something that happens to people, put it back and then pulled out a bottle of water instead
Unfriendly reminder that in America it’s reasonable to say an unarmed black kid deserved to be shot six times because he might have robbed a convenience store, but a white kid shouldn’t be kicked off the high school football team just because he violently raped a girl.